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ZeroCool to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 3 months ago

Trump Displays Overflowing Basket After Demolishing “Low IQ Kids" in Easter Egg Hunt on White House Lawn

thehardtimes.net

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Trump Displays Overflowing Basket After Demolishing “Low IQ Kids" in Easter Egg Hunt on White House Lawn

thehardtimes.net

ZeroCool to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 3 months ago
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President Trump showcased his overflowing Easter basket earlier today after outperforming “low IQ” children during the annual White House Easter egg hunt.
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  • @Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world
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    15•3 months ago

    Totally unrealistic… he would have just taken the baskets from the kids, then sent them to an El Salvador death camp.

    • @Ledericas@lemm.ee
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      2•3 months ago

      for good measure he takes out all the candy, and throw 1 or 2 empty eggs as a sign of good faith.

  • @LoamImprovement@beehaw.org
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    4•3 months ago

    Obviously fake news! Trump couldn’t be assed to run around grabbing eggs on the lawn, that sounds way more strenuous than golf.

  • Lovable Sidekick
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    1•
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    3 months ago

    Gotta make sure ol’ 2-scoops gets the biggest basket.

  • @BigMikeInAustin@lemmy.world
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    29•3 months ago

    I’d like to see him try to bend over to pick something up.

    • ZeroCoolOP
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      24•3 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • @errer@lemmy.world
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        6•3 months ago

        NGL I use one of these all the time, they’re great

        • @Ledericas@lemm.ee
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          1•3 months ago

          i doubt he has the strength and grip to use that.

          • @anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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            1•3 months ago

            He has to use the kids version since his hands are so little.

    • @vividspecter@lemm.ee
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      5•3 months ago

      He’d just make one of his sycophants do it for him, then take credit about how he’s the “greatest egg hunter the world has seen, maybe ever!”.

    • @Ledericas@lemm.ee
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      1•3 months ago

      first of all it wont happen, he would steal the basket with eggs and leave with it.

  • Oyu_Fka
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    10•3 months ago

    Haha! Well worth a read, lol!

  • @Princessk8@lemmy.world
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    68•3 months ago

    I was ready to believe this was real

  • @DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world
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    73•3 months ago

    I totally ate this onion.

    • @MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world
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      4•3 months ago

      Don’t worry me too.

    • @b34k@lemmy.world
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      9•3 months ago

      Same

    • 21Cabbage
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      3•3 months ago

      The other holiday it shares probably doesn’t help

      • @P00ptart@lemmy.world
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        1•3 months ago

        I read this while currently celebrating… Easter. Yeah, that’s it.

  • @N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    26•3 months ago

    Like a true winner, he had secret service agents knock over the other kids and steal the candy in their baskets. Their parents are now in a gulag in Siberia, and the kids are on a prison work detail in a coal mine. Take that, losers.

    • @P00ptart@lemmy.world
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      4•3 months ago

      Gulag has no record of parents. Maybe on Ukraine front?

  • @PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
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    9•
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    3 months ago

    I tried fact checking this but I remember Trump telling me this once at our sleepovers back when he was on the apprentice and I had a mid-sized Greek bakery on 45th street in Manhattan. He’d come in sometimes but never ordered anything. He said he liked the smell in there.

    • @P00ptart@lemmy.world
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      1•3 months ago

      Did you need him for the mushroom soup?

  • @Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    8•3 months ago

    The secret service had to help.
    (Some of the kids were killed, some deported, rip.)

  • @Malfeasant@lemm.ee
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    5•3 months ago

    Isn’t the onion supposed to be satire?

  • greenfire
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    3 months ago

    Low IQ Resident President unnecessarily insults some of the most vulnerable amongst us —does it matter whether it’s true??? He’s done it every waking hour of every day of his pathetic existence

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