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Imagine shipping this tiny little box and it weighs 60 pounds. Poor mailman.
Last package of the da… Yo wtf?!?
It’s the 32 KG mop all over again
Note: Above video is marketing for an exercise plan, but it’s also funny to watch occasionally when he has new episodes. As far as I know, the weights are real, but they’re always loaded funny in the videos. Max plates visually for the weight the dudes are lifting
“I have to clean here!” - lifts fat barbell, that some steroid man just lifted with both hands, with one hand and moves it elsewhere.
Not to be a killjoy but your basic mailman has a pretty low weight limit on the parcels they take.
Apparently neither of you are aware of how dense I am. ;)
But do you fit into that box? 🤔
first, ya cut a hole in that box…
I’m pretty sure you’re about to break a lot of postal regulations.
You know…
Looking at the list of restricted items, you can’t mail live animals, or cremated remains. But if you mail only your dick in a box it wouldn’t really be live anymore and isn’t cremated (yet). I suppose it could fall under perishable items though.
You can get a kit!
https://store.usps.com/store/product/cremated-remains-kit-1-P_BOX_CREKIT1
I had ordered some stickers but they never sent them. :(
Cutting a hole suggests that, like in the song, the dick will still be attached to him, violating the rule against live animals.
Nothing one of those fancy new blenders couldn’t handle.
I have mixed feelings about this.
Don’t breathe this.
deleted by creator
USPS GOAT. Fuck privatización.
But sometimes I have mildly inconveniencing experiences with the postal service in my extremely rural town that require me to navigate my extremely rural town’s nearly non-existent public services so we should absolutely surrender complete control to Amazon
Private companies love the heartland and will work out of patriotism even if rural routes are less profitable! 🤡
We recently moved in a very rural area. The rural carrier for our new route gave us a form to fill out, and by the end of the week we were receiving mail. UPS and FedEX on the other hand, wouldn’t deliver to us for a month. USPS will carry our packages up our driveway to our steps; UPS and FedEX throw them in the ditch by the mailbox.
Also, did you know you can buy stamps, cards, and envelopes directly from the rural carrier? Here’s a fun quote from the rural customer registration form:
Rural carriers maintain a supply of stamps, cards, and envelopes for sale. Additionally, your carrier will accept Certified Mail™, Registered Mail™, insure packages, and prepare money orders. Generally, rural carriers can extend practically all services available at a Post Office. Please purchase a sufficient supply of stamps and affix proper postage on all outgoing mail.
Imagine how bleak things would be if Amazon was running the show. USPS is truly the best
I would expect better from UPS, and as usual the USPS surprises me with their quality.
I would think Americans of every political stripe would say the post office is the best government institution we have. That tells you that attempts to undermine them aren’t in our best interest.
Imagine how bleak things would be if Amazon was running the show. USPS is truly the best
I’m sorry you are only subscribed to Amazon letter prime, in order to get your packages you must collect them from your nearest whole foods or upgrade to prime plus.
We’re sorry prime plus is not available in your service area.
You see, this one service does all things right but one of them irks me. Meanwhile this other one does everything wrong but has one thing I agree with. I’ll switch to it.
Milten Friedman is the reason we are where we are today.
you can balloon the box out a ways to get more volume
The surface area of the box is about 135 inches. If this surface area were spread over a sphere, it would have a diameter of about 6.5 inches and a volume of nearly 150 cubic inches (nearly twice the volume of the uninflated box!). 150 cubic inches of osmium weighs about 120lbs.
So, indeed you could exceed the weight limit of the box by ballooning it out and filling it with something that’s at least 7/12ths as dense as osmium (or a little more dense than lead).
The demon core’s theme just started playing for some reason
Herewegoagain.jpg
Hmm, that might make it feasible to do with something that you can actually buy in large quantities, like tungsten! Would still probably cost four or five figures though.
What about a piece of neutron star in those dimensions? Would it still be lighter than 70 lbs?
Good news, after obtaining a piece of neutron star in those dimensions, you wouldn’t need to worry about it anymore.
I’d like an Ai to draw a 4 panel comic of this.
Too lazy do it yourself? Come on.
glorious
thank you kind strAinger
The common popsci factoid tells us that a teaspoon of a neutron star weights as much as Mount Everest, so maybe.
1 tsp neutron star < your mom
Correct. That’s why I can’t ship her using USPS.
What about dark matter? One pound of it weighs over 10000 pounds.
Doesn’t matter. You won’t see it til it too late.
Do we have a source for this or are you just joking?
It’s true. One kilogram of dark matter weighs as much as ten thousand kilograms of feathers.
It’s what happens when all the gravitons and graviolis get mixed up
Could you create a device that would compress some substance to the extent it would reach this weight or is that impossible?
I believe that would be some form of fusion
So yes, for a moment
But also no
A very large no.
So…kinda yes?
Such devices exist, namely stars. Neutron stars are theorized to have neutronium at their core, essentially a soup of neutrons so densely packed that nothing else fits between them - in order words, the densest theoretical material (osmium is the densest material found on Earth).
I guess I forgot to say it needs to fit in the package lol. I know it’s possible in extreme environments but can you create such an environment in this package is the question.
Just toss a few teaspoons of black hole in there.
Just have the package delivered to the black hole and watch usps get it there rain or snow
Where the fuck did USPS get those super-powerful electromagnets from and how do they know to use them to manipulate impossibly heavy packages!?!
.
No idea, man. I just saw that thing in the company warehouse and started pressing buttons
I wouldn’t be too surprised if you could achieve that kind of density for a few fractions of a second with explosive powered compression. I’m thinking something like the electromagnetic flux compression technique used by Nakamura et al to make the 1200T magnetic field back in 2018. The package absolutely wouldn’t exist for long though lol
no, i mean theoretically who knows, but practically no. compressing something to be more dense than a solid is energy intense. you are surpassing the bond energy of moleculesto do it. second, compressing enough osmium is going to take less, but still bigajoules, of energy. the compressive stress is immense. anything that could hold thht stress is much too big to fit in the package.
Good news, it’s 20-30 years away!
He said “physically” which is wrong because Neutronium. What he possibly meant was “practically” in which Osmium would be the only element you can practically fit in the box since it isn’t possible to synthesize neutronium at that amount or handle that much safely.
No you mean theoretical. As neutronium is a theoretical substance. To our knowledge there’s no way to find it outside of neuron stars. It is therefore physically impossible, within our current state of knowledge.
It’s highly unlikely, bordering on theoretically impossible to assume that mankind will be able to synthesize enough to fill a cardboard box with. Then the practical side says even if that was possible, there would probably no way a cardboard box could contain that (and a plethora of other practical impossibilities).
Well, you wouldn’t actually need to fill the box, just exceed the weight limit. And since neuronium weighing just 70 Pounds would have negligible volume, the problem becomes on of making a containment chamber that would fit inside the box.
That and the neutrons would rapidly undergo beta decay producing a LOT of free energy and other particles.
Big Bada Boom!
Yeah there physical and practical reasons intermixed!
If mailing 70 lbs of unstable particles that can’t exist outside of a lab is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
It would be interesting transporting a microscopic object weighing 70lbs.
Something something my penis
I guarantee that it is physically impossible to fill a cardboard box with pure neutronium. Is it physically possible to get over 70 lbs of the stuff in there in a stable, shippable manner? I don’t know, and neither do you. It’s certainly far, FAR beyond the capability of any technology on Earth, but I guess it might maybe possibly not break the laws of physics. I can’t prove that though, and neither can you, so neither of us can actually prove the statement wrong.
it isn’t possible to synthesize neutronium at that amount or handle that much safely.
To be clear, the neutronium you’re talking about here is the one that is theorized to exist at the core of neutron stars? Could you elaborate on how much has been synthesized and could be handled safely?
Wasn’t neutronium practically synthesized in miniscule amounts in the Large Hydron Collider? Also I am not a quantum physicist, so I am not sure if any neutronium is currently safe to handle beyond a miniscule amount considering a sugar cube sized amount of neutronium is theoretically the weight of a large freight ship.
I always fill them up with that stuff black holes are made of, it’s pretty dense.
At what velocity are the box’s dimensions and effective mass determined?
Tariffs on neutronium are out of this world though.
If you stuffed that box with neutronium then:
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Funny event: it’s so dense the Earth itself is basically a thin gas in comparison and it immediately falls through the floor, the ground, and the mantle to oscillate around in the core.
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Funny other event: It’s so massive it dominates gravity nearby and everything within a couple of meters gets turned into Cool Physics from aggregating onto an incompressible box really fast and hard. Maybe the nearby atmosphere ignites from being compressed into plasma against the box.
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Real physics step in and the neutronium immediately decompresses and the mass equivalent of an inland ocean in neutrons and angry high-energy high-mass decay products sterilizes everything through to the horizon with a gamma ray burst, also triggering massive seismic events from the blast as well as killing everything on Earth since the atmosphere is now radioactive and a lot thinner
Ugh… does this mean I have to go all the way down to post office to get my package again?
Part two turning things into cool physics made me giggle IRL, good job
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8 5/8" x 5 3/8" x 1 5/8"
Don’t write yourself off yet, learn metric.
moving from Europe to America the amount of times I’m like “it’s 12 3/8ths” to try to, yknow, join in, and everyone’s like “call it 12 or 13”
motherfucker that’s a huge gap!
For most of the rest of the world, that’s about 219 mm × 137 mm × 41,3 mm
For those of us that don’t use arbitrary made up units at all, that’s 1.35515609E+34 Planck Length x 8.477460474E+33 Planck Length x 2.555613997E+33 Plank Length.
Use real measurements. A meter is how far light travels in 1/299,792,458 of a second? Statements made by the utterly deranged.
Finally a truly universally usable measurement for everyday use
I’m sorry but… Length and Units? Actually disgusting. There is only ONE thing that exists, and it is inversely proportional the base rate of growth in half of a circular degree about a complex orthogonal dimension.
It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on…
just try your best, try everything you can
And don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away
Neutronium… I am having early 2000s trivia website flashbacks! Wasn’t a teaspoon of that stuff several tons or something?
On the order of a billion tons.
I’m not sure if it’s a hard weight or just guesstimate to illustrate its heavy, but I always heard that a teaspoon would weigh as much as a city
Yep. Or a mountain, something like that.
A quick search just told me that it’s been hypothesized that a teaspoon of it would weigh around 10 billion tons on Earth
Damn! How much does that weigh in feathers?
It’s because all the packages have the same domestic weight limit.
Seems silly, but makes sense in the context.
This is the case for most “Dumb laws”: there’s an outlier that becomes kinda silly, but it’s not really worth the effort to change.
I saw one “It’s illegal to hunt Blue Whales in Idaho”. Because it’s illegal to hunt endangered species in Idaho, and Blue Whales are endangered, not because legislators were super concerned about saving Idaho’s whale population.
I find that there’s usually a good reason for seemingly stupid shit in this world.
Was shooting the shit with a customer who was bitching about grass seed bags being full of inert materials. Had no idea! Another customer chimed in that the extra crap is to help if feed properly in a spreader.
Makes for good clickbait, heh.
Okay so I originally assumed this was probably due to some union rule or something like that. But I didn’t find any reference to it in the NALC guidelines, anything in the USPS resources center (which is hard to use), anything in google searches, and the original employee documentation or spec.
I did find the USPS History section and it turns out they have someone whose job title is “Postal Historian”, Stephen Kochersperger.
But, anyways, I found the address (not email of course haha) for the USPS history office so I have wrote up an letter and put it in the mailbox. I will eventually update yall
at a typical temperature and pressure, sure.
