Just bought box wine the other day cuz I knew I had to have a super uncomfortable conversation that could not be avoided and I needed to be anaesthetized for it
It worked and I know in retrospect I really needed it to be that way
Edit/Update: person I had convo with just texted me and apologized for combativeness and I mutually apologized for not dealing with it sooner and we’re along and on to solution mode. The system works, please dont drink if you dont have too but dont forbid yourself from using a tool to improve your situation and try to always be honest. The less you lie or hide, the less influence you will have to unnecessarily drink
Hey man, I downvoted but i wanted to tell you why. My family has multiple alcoholics. I’m not judging you at all, but i a wanted to encourage you to find other coping mechanism. Alcohol is very dangerous, especially when used that way. Be safe, bro.
I understand, more of an AUD dude and its welm-managed, especially since ive been low sugar
I like heroin personally.
I downvoted you because I think you’re judging just a little. Not everyone is an addict.
I think they’re just pointing out that using alcohol as coping mechanism can easily cause alcoholism, and therefore this post is really dangerous advice for some people.
Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing. You can spot «danger for someone» just about anywhere you look.
Now the question was if you sometimes drink strategically. Drinking all the time or every day isn’t drinking strategically.
Try being human sometimes, and not trying to outdo each other being «perfect». Unless you’re 14 and trying to fit in…
You can abuse alcohol to negative effect without drinking every day. Binge drinking and drinking to dull your emotions are other forms of alcohol abuse beyond just the classic portrayal of a “drinks all day or he gets the shakes” alcoholic. Maybe OP is doing this very occasionally and it’s not a problem for them. But if you’re using alcohol to as a coping mechanism with any sort of frequency, it’s probably not a healthy situation.
Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing.
Thank you. But anecdotally, it seems there are few of us who think this. I still don’t understand why.
Lower karma posts are less likely to be seen?
Exactly my point. The virtual equivalent of taping someone’s mouth shut because you happen not to agree with what they say.
Freedom of speech as an absolute sounds virtuous until you hit the paradox of tolerance.
Then you do understand why people are downvoting because this is bad advice and others dont want people to see it.
well put.
Spoken like someone who hasn’t seen how easy it is to ruin a life with alcohol.
Like I said. Judging, and projecting your problems onto everyone else.
I downvoted you because i think you’re projecting your judgmental mindset onto others.
These days i rarely drink but a glass of wine with some pasta now and again goes down a treat
No, but I don’t drink strategically. If you need to have a hard conversation or do something difficult, you should probably have your whole brain in use.
Yes, my strategy is I don’t drink and in turn I don’t get hangovers
I mean, you could call it strategic, or you could call it relying on substances as a crutch to manage your emotions.
I’m not saying that’s always bad, necessarily. There is the school of thought that it’s just a tool, like in your edit. But, it’s important to remember it can become a habit.
For conversations I need to have, I rehearse in my head and mutter quips to myself to prepare myself for all contingencies.
This isn’t so I will say these words to the person, but more that I’m convincing myself and arming my mouth when my brain wanders off as it is wont to do.
On the actual day, I drink a soothing tea and don’t say anything unless the uncomfortable topic is brought up. If people clock onto my calm confidence, they usually don’t instigate.
I’ve learned from early on that people prey only on those they perceive weak, but to pre-emptively strike is to invite ruin. So I prepare and stay quiet.
Beer would ruin that planning as I am a lightweight
Everyone high roading you here is probably on anti-anxiety meds lol
Anxiety is necessary sometimes. It’s fine to be anxious and it’s ok to be uncomfortable. You are having trouble managing your anxiety seek a therapist. Alcohol will trick you into thinking it’s a solution. Be careful, this is very similar to how my alcoholism and my fathers started.
This is how you become an alcoholic.
Too hard
Would you care to clarify?
You don’t become an alcoholic for a single episode. I get US and EU are very different when it comes to alcohol consumption, but if OP would see alcohol as the only way to manage all of his problems, ok, it’s dangerous, but if he reckon this is a one of a kind solution, it’s just a bad choice
If you’ve read my comment history with OP, I was voicing my concerns because that was part of how it started for me. Thankfully I’m on the other side of alcoholism now. I just know that if someone is asking a question showing concern for their drinking, I will speak up and voice concern.
I’m not attempting to take away any agency, I just wish someone had actually said something to me rather than downplaying my concerns. I may have not fallen down the rabbit hole, because I still had a handle on it then.
AUD
A box of wine is a large amount. Do you drink in order to be able to socialize in all ways?
I bought and started on it, haven’t finished it haha
When did you buy it, and how long ago? I’m asking, because I’m seeing my old patterns for forcing social interaction.
I have regular like daily light hearted interaction with them, just had a couple old matters I had to settle and come clean about and it was fine just tense
Yes, that’s not necessarily bad in and of itself. But there’s a difference between having one or two glasses and consuming half a box. I’m just wondering where you’re at.
Better now that I got it out of the way. Omissions (like lies) compound like interest mentally
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I strategically refrain from alcohol or other drug consumption. And my life has improved drastically ever since.
Whatever the reason that you feel you have to abuse drugs as a coping mechanism, it will only make things worse. You will not be able to process your emotions, you will not be able to think clear about what is your best way forward and you will not be able to grow stronger while drugged up.
The fact that you say you “needed to be anesthetized” for an uncomfortable conversation screams that you are either already having a drug abuse problem and that you have issues with your emotional regulation.
I am glad this is working for you, but not everyone has the same caustic relationship with recreational drugs that you do. Alcohol has been around since over 5000 years BC, but somehow you and a great deal of others have gone on this mini “prohibition” movement and have it all figured out. Good for you, but let’s not let this turn into a new movement where “I know better than you” becomes an excuse to tell others how to live their lives. Prohibition in the US started just like this.
That’s a sign of unmanaged dependency.
Sure, but I was also an alcoholic. Very high functioning, but still at the end 100% dependant on it.
The slope is so treacherously flat, you don’t feel yourself slipping. I still have no idea how I ended up where I did, or for that matter how I ended up actually managing to quit.
I’m sure some people can use liquid courage without it turning into depending on it to do the hard things, then more and more things turning hard and needing a boost to do it, or can wash away work with a drink at the end of the week, without having to wash it away at the end of every day, and then having a quick rinse-and-reset at lunch, and so on… But it’s impossible to know which one you are until it’s too late.
I know everyone in here’s saying no but I do. If I’m going to a social occasion I might have a drink beforehand; not much, just enough to feel it. I’m not the most comfortable in social situations and a beer can just take the edge off. I don’t get drunk or anything and I’d only do it if there’s going to be alcohol there anyway.
I also drink sometimes to help me sleep. I have ADHD and I struggle to switch my brain off. Sometimes I hit like 2am and if I think I need it I have a bottle of whisky downstairs that I’ll go and have a drink off. Again, just enough to feel it. I have pills and medicine that help me sleep, and they work also, but they leave me feeling groggy the next day. With a little whisky I don’t even feel it the next day and it seems to work just as well. I don’t do it too often, maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks.
Using alcohol as a method to resolve personal problems can be a very dark path. Please be careful.
I have a drink before my DnD sessions as it loosens me up and brings me out of my shell a bit. I imagine that could be called strategic drinking.
As long as you’re not relying on alcohol just to get through the day, and you can function well in your life without it, there’s nothing wrong with having a drink before a tough conversation.
Humans have been using alcohol as a social lubricant for thousands of years. That doesn’t make it safe, but it’s also not a great evil, in moderation.
