I’d make it so that liquid soap dispensers sounded like they were struggling to nut quietly each time you pressed down.
I’d make every scissor a little bit loose so whatever it’s cutting turns sideways and gets stuck near the end.
This is what being left handed is like.
As a kid, I didn’t understand why left-handed scissors were a thing. Then I had to cut a wide strip of fabric with my non-dominant left hand.
It was an experience.
Any time you use something powered by a fossil fuel your pinkies ache about as much as a lightly stubbed toe.
This would really light a fire under corporation’s asses to adapt for climate change…
Brain now naturally resists sleep for as long as possible, so everyone stays awake for two or three days before crashing uncontrollably.
Sneezing is excessively messy.
I already feel like I live this reality
Everyone is ever so slightly telepathic, functionally making a web of felt emotions with no thoughts connecting them so what you feel from this is basically a summary of the people in the area around you.
Example: Everyone could be focused at work, nothing major going on, until someone thinks about their significant other and all of a sudden there’s a tiny bit of horny thrown in the mix, everyone knows its there, and no one knows who put it there.
Women are already scarce in IT.
Everyone’s butt hole could be anywhere on their body. Everyone needs a different kind of toilet to properly position themselves. Everyone starts aligning themselves as friends based on the location of their butt hole. “Oh sorry I can’t stay too long. My butthole is in my armpit.”
You sir, are worse than satan.
One of your socks is always wet
I’ll just keep a sock in my pocket so that one can be wet instead of one on my foot
“Is that a wet sock in your pocket or are you incontinent?”
Both, actually!
evil
Sex is painful for the man too
um, it’s not supposed to hurt for either 😳
Sounds like they need to either introduce a 55 gallon drum of lube into their sex life or they need to make it a rule that they have to spend 20 minutes doing foreplay before sex.
Too?
Joke’s on you, I’m into that
At random times whenever you are traveling in any vehicle, you simultaneously feel a sneeze coming on, and yet have to pee a little bit too. However, you can neither sneeze nor pee until you are out of the vehicle.
Inconvenient on a bus/train or as a passenger, deadly if you’re driving. Bicycles are right out, I suppose.
everytime you are going to sit, you have to declare it out loud
Make everyone listen to 10 hours of cow sounds on repeat.
From now on, you get static shocked every time you touch anything.
life in winter anyways
Someone told me once that slapping something metal and grounded will discharge the energy and not hurt as much (you’re expecting the impact of hitting it, so the electric shock comes with it; this is in contrast to gently brushing something and getting shocked unexpectedly). I’ve found it useful.
such a good trick. Used it for years.
Welcome to Antarctica, friend! The buildings at Scott base are all fitted out with handrails that the occupants use to ground themselves periodically while walking around, because static buildup is such a serious issue down there.
Every set of stairs has one step that is slightly taller than the rest
I’m sure you mean all the heights are a little different, but I’m envisioning where every step has to be taller than the previous one and the shenanery that would happen to make long stair cases navigable. Start with teeny tiny steps to end with uncomfortably large ones.
That was actually a thing in castle design. There’d be one step just high enough compared to the others that an assassin chasing the king would hopefully stumble on it, and the king could turn around and stab the assassin.
Don’t bother with steps that are each different — making steps the wrong height/length is enough. If you ever walked up/down stairs that felt really weird it’s probably because the builder ignored the international standards on that topic and built steps that are a couple centimeters off.
You monster.
Remove the ability to remember if you turned something off.
You monster!
Like OCD for everyone!
Joke’s on you, I already can’t.
Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.
You own a lot of stock in eyemasks?
I own The Eyemask Emporium.
I liked their eye masks so much, I bought the place
This would be awesome! No need for underwater goggles anymore! I could shut my eyes against strong winds and still see!
You would still see your eyelashes though. Also, sleeping would be a bit more challenging.
