I apparently skipped level ??? and went straight to believing the Black Book is fascist propaganda. I didn’t realize I was supposed to stan Pol Pot first!
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When was the last time che shirts were a thing? I swear I’ve seen more conservatives making fun of che shirts than I have actual unironic che shirts.
Anyways, The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeoisie decadence. Every day at exactly noon I have the same meal of an expired Maoist MRE I store in a pit covered in old issues of a revolutionary newspaper. I sleep in a bed made of flags from every failed revolution so that they are never forgotten. In the evenings I stare at a picture of vodka by candlelight, but I do not allow myself to drink because there is nothing to celebrate. Every local org has banned me after I attempted to split it by assassinating the leadership. There is no plumbing in my house I shit in a brass bucket with a picture of Gonzalo and Deng french kissing in the bottom of it. My house is actually an overturned T34 in an abandoned junkyard in Wisconsin. I have a single friend in this world and it is a tapeworm named Bordiga that I met after ingesting spoiled borscht on 9/11 in the ruins of building 7 (I blew it up after finding that a nominally leftist NGO inside of it wasn’t sufficiently anti-imperialist, the attacks on the world trade center were a perfect revolutionary moment for me to enact direct praxis against liberalism). My source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money. I have not paid taxes since McGovern lost the Democratic nomination for president and my faith in electoralism died more brutally than my childhood dog after it got into an entire jar of tylenol. I own 29 fully automatic rusted kalashnikovs and three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own. My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist. During the latest BLM protests I firebombed a Nikes outlet in the middle of a peaceful candlelit vigil. William F Buckley and I wrote hatemail to one another for 47 years until my final letter gave him an aneurysm. The only water I drink is from puddles. George Lucas and I dropped acid together during an MKULTRA southern baptist summer camp and he went on to write the movie Willow about our time together. The best way to test whether an electrical wire is live is to drool on it and shrimp salad is racist. You can make an IED out of potassium and the instructions are online thanks to Timothy McVey, who was actually a committed antifascist communist slandered by the deep state as part of operation condor. Every time a liberal files a restraining order against me, I carve a mark into the wall. I am running out of walls. When Amerika finally collapses I will be ready to lead the revolution. I am very smart and people like being around me.
When was the last time che shirts were a thing?
…
I did in fact see one last week on campus
The last time i saw one was on a college campus 20 years ago
We need a “What level of liberal are you?” with very similar framing. First step can be “blames everything that goes wrong in capitalism on Putler and Chinese bots.”
First step can be “blames everything that goes wrong in capitalism on Putler and Chinese bots.”
I’m kinda thinking that at this point this could just be every step.
Except they fucked this up and put some pretty mild beliefs at the top end of the whole scale.
It’d be like if I had a “what level of liberal are you” and level 4800000 was “I overlook deeper philosophical considerations when consuming media I enjoy”
Fuck, you’re right.
I’d need to get into scientific notation to reach “I see criticism of my treats as a direct attack on my identity and wish death upon the treat critic.”
i agree with everything except pol pot, that dude was a fucking asshat
Tankie level (???): “What do you mean you didn’t like the Khmer Rouge”
The PAVN needs to roll some tanks into this post
They think orthodox marxism is just a process of ignoring more and more things. Literally what liberal ideology is built on.
And the idea seems to be that “tankies” are bad because of a series of unconnected Disrespectful statements theyve made about vintage history and geopolitics that have nothing to do with us. So simplistic.
I used to think this but then found this website full of beautiful people owning it and wearing it as a badge of honor
Anyway Marx wasn’t authoritarian enough I’m an orthodox Englesist
Anyway Marx wasn’t authoritarian enough I’m an orthodox Englesist
See as a monster of Humanity I’m in the Level: BLACK
:mao-clap:Pro tip if you’re gonna strawman an entire ideology don’t tell people thinking landlords should get the wall is one of the most extreme beliefs that group has, you’re gonna get the not insane 70% of the population on that side immediately.
you’re gonna get the not insane 70% of the population on that side
oh, I don’t know, there’s a lot of landlord-sympathizers out there. especially in Canada (not that that really matters to non-Canadians)
But what about the mom and pop landlords?
Hey, lookie here! I’ve got a mom and pop wall just for them.
jesus christ tankies have brain rot
how about all states and government is bad?
edit: lmao tankiebabies mad
I hate stuff that governs so much. Hate it.
Lmao have fun
false equivalencies intensify
And of course “both/all sides” means “therefore status quo good,” because you’re a smug and ignorant liberal.
i’m not a fucking disgusting liberal i’m an anarchist i’m against all state upheld violence and oppression
Say such things are universally bad all you like in an idealistic way; it won’t stop the bombs dropping on whatever you’re doing when the capitalists that still have states want what you have.
How would you propose organizing society so it won’t be crushed by a bourgeoisie state’s military?
CHAZ
They were so brave when they shot those black teenagers
- makes stupid comment
- gets made fun of
- “omg everyone’s so mad; that means I’m right”
reactionary tradition
Yes they are bad. It’s just weird that your other views align more with fascists and liberals
said the literal authoritarian tankie when i support mutual aid and anti authoritarianism
i’m as far from a fascist as you can get when tankies are literally just fascists painted red, with the full holocaust and genocide denial that comes along with it
holocaust and genocide denial
oh right. I forgot that Auschwitz doesn’t exist, that it wasn’t liberated by communists, and became the universal symbol of the holocaust
German in 1933: Um ackshually all governments are bad, why are you singling out the Nazis?
Be careful not to drown in the shower
edit: lmao tankiebabies mad
Mmmh yes, we are positively seething bb
i will never like Khmer Rouge. why would i like a fucking feudalist experiment?
Level 31, I’m about to evolve into a Tankusaur.
Don’t you fucking push B I’ve been waiting for this
But you’ll learn Big Spoon Attack sooner if you don’t evolve dammit!
Tankie is when you are correct, and the more correct you are the more tankie it is
I don’t know about that Khmer Rouge part though. I guess that’s why it’s level ???
Post your tankie stats.
Edit: World Of Tankies should be a video game.
You’re playing it right now
(edit: this is based and good, to be clear)
I don’t know if I’d wear Che’s T-shirt, it’s probably really old and raggedy at this point
now imagine this as one of those mafia mobile game ads
level 1 tankie walking with his girlfriend and then he gets beaten up by some guy wearing glasses and his girlfriend leaves him, so he levels up to “khmer rouge supporter” and kills that guy’s entire family
