Yes, I would accept getting paid $800 to pet a cat. I’d take less, but now that you made the offer I’ll just take that offer.

I accept your offer of giving me $800 to pet this cat named Jim. That should cover my travel expenses. When we doing this?

Keep the money, I’ll just pet Jimmy for free

I can pet my own cat for free

The word ‘cat’ doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence…

Depends wether I’m paying or being paid. Also what type of cat? That could be anywhere from a tame kitten to a fully grown tiger

This sounds like a trick. Are you going to sell my organs?

Is it ugly?

A lot of men pay $800 - or even more! - just to pet a pussy.

But paying for pussy just ain’t my thang.

How much to cut it into small pieces and feed it to the hounds?

No. Seems like a trap.

I have my own family cat and he won’t ever leave me alone ever and hates when I leave. His name is guy and he likes to cuddle and purr on me or in my arms now and distrusts my mom so much so that he doesn’t even let her hold him. She is the real owner of the cat.

Fuck no, that’s way too much.

I’ll pay $801 to pet the cat!

How long do I get to pet the cat, and do I need to clean up his poops?

You wouldn’t download a cat.