Single ply, extra thin, just like our corporate overlords intended it.
Thing’s so top heavy he’s gonna barely touch it and the whole thing will go toppling into the bathtub and instantly absorb 10x its weight in water.
Just like that, 42 cents down the drain.
Bro that tp is gonna melt in the water whole homeboy watches like that devastated raccoon.
Haha it straight up will
Yeah, it’s a terrible waste of perfectly good sandpaper.
Every once in a while I get a Uline catalog sent to me.I have looked at that same sort of industrial Jumbo roll. Very tempting.
If it’s the uline jumbo rolls my work gets… Please don’t.
Your asshole will thank me
Plus side, it’s basically impossible to clog your toilet with that stuff. It’s effectively pipe grease.
Does it flake like a French pastry?
The toilet paper or his asscheeks?
I only wipe my ass with croissants to keep my cheeks buttery smooth
I’m fairly certain those words have never been uttered in that order in the entirety of human history. Bravo.
Nor should they ever again.
It’s a terrible day for Canada, and therefore the world
My old work ordered everything from uline, and I started bringing in my own TP specifically because of how awful it is to use that tissue paper.
Legitimately feels like tissue paper that people stuff gift bags with.
But at the same time, almost slippery.
And you WILL know if you creased the paper the wrong way, because it WILL stab at you with the force of ten thousand teeny tiny needles.
Is it the high gloss stuff, or the 80 grit option?
You just gotta keep using it until your anus naturally builds up callouses.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
If you don’t use a bidet, your butthole is already calloused. I learned this the first time I pooped in a normal toilet after getting my bidet.
I too try to only shit on company time
They’re called union shits around here. Even if you’re not in one lol.
Also combine shitty to with expensive bidet. Best of both worlds.
I rarely physically shudder from text
I think this is the worst thing I’ve ever read
Thank you, and you’re welcome.
My wife keeps telling me that…
Why? What is she planning for your anus that requires callouses? You should inquire. That sounds suspicious!
Just know that she won’t answer and I’m scared.
Do you need us to call someone for you?
Sounds exciting!
Try a bidet first. I still use TP to dry off the wet, but way less TP.
How much TP did you use to use? I’m usually in the 2-4 squares range, which is usually enough to get a clean wipe. I imagine I’d still be in that range w/ a bidet, I’d just be a bit cleaner. My trick is to buy non-crappy TP, so I don’t need to double up (Costco brand is the perfect mix of strong and cheap).
Shopping in bulkStealing in bulk
If you can fit it on your roll holder why wouldn’t you? That’s just good sense right there
Get the double length loo roll. Because of maths, it’s not twice as wide even if it’s twice as long, but you have to change the loo roll half as often. You will not regret this transition.
Garbage toilet paper found often at the workplace. People especially poor in money and/or taste will sometimes use it in their homes.
Oh yeah, my cats going to have a field day with that.
scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
One of my neighbors owns a restaurant. When covid hit, they dropped boxes of gloves, hand sanitizer, and those rolls of TP off for everyone on the street. I still have one
That is a solidly decent neighbour.
Someone’s university has CH-751 locks on their toilet roll dispensers, and is missing a roll…
It sure ain’t my university. Nobody wants to steal sandpaper so thin it rips before you even look at it
This is the lock picking lawyer and what I have for you today really wipes out the competition.
I mean if it’s cheap I would definitely do that too
Wouldn’t that get absolutely covered in shit particles by the time you get to the middle?
What happens at your house?
Haven’t seen the Mythbusters episode eh?
To be fair 1 flush with the lid open and you’d get a nice particulate smattering on everything.
Inside your lungs too. You breathe in poop, think about it.
Yeah you don’t want shit in your shit
Everything in your house is covered in shit particles. Best just not to think about it.
And many more things along with shit.
I’m no germaphobe but the increased exposure time of that roll does disturb me. A normal roll gets maybe two dozen flushes or so before running out, that jumbo roll is being showered with hundreds of flushes.
I mean, do you keep your toothbrush in the bathroom? Lol
No. My place has a closet right outside of the bathroom and we have 90% of our stuff in there.
Fair enough! I’ll take my poo particle covered toothbrush and go
and bugs climb out from the root of the eyelash follicles and eat your skin at night, when they crawl back in to lay eggs
Asses to asses, flush to flush 🤷
what, do the shit particles BURROW through the outer layers of paper? you’re only ever getting one flush worth of shit particles unless someone in your house is shitting without wiping.
Do you see the large side of that huge roll? And you do understand that toilet paper is absorbent, right?
So
twistturn it…yeah, it absorbs liquids quite well because of surface tension and the capillary effect. are you under the impression that individual particles of shit are ducking and weaving their way all the way to the center of that roll from the outside edges?
That could kill a man rolling down a hill
so what is it from?
His work’s supply cabinet.
Rock on, man.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/1883864828
Charmin Forever Roll
you da real mvp
Let’s hope he had some high capacity magazines to match
McMaster-Carr catalog.
Whole Earth Catalogue
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Your friend steals TP from work. That’d the ones that go in those big industrial dispensers
They also sell them at Sam’s club
We Canadians are still mad at Sam’s club. I bought a yearly membership and a month later they shut down and refused to refund anyone. We’re also mad we lost the Disney store, that place was legit a great place to find deals and stuff for the kids easily.
The Disney store is a grift IMO. Target also carries Disney crap, so if I really need it, there’s usually a sale or something that I can take advantage of at some point before a birthday or something.
We don’t have target in Canada either. But I would always find crazy sales on clothes for the kids and even collectibles, like star wars stuff at the Disney store. They used to mark down stuff a lot cause they had to cycle in new products often. I heard they intended Canadians to just order stuff online, but the shipping costs are absurd.
Whole country mad about the local businesses in your town, huh?
They must be bored as hell in Nunavut
You’re one of those people that wakes up and just wants to be an asshole to everyone huh?
Having seen your comment history, you’re just a pedantic fuck. Bet people love you at parties.
If a joke that slight makes you super mad, you probably shouldn’t be on the internet bro.
Tissue paper in a wind tunnel.
It’s really not that serious.
It’s a good idea but is there any way to get it legally?
Edit: Amazon
Your local janitorial supply is better than Amazon.
Honestly every household should have an account at one, everything there is practical and works well unlike most modern consumer products. Dirt cheap too.
Stuff like broom and dustpan, mop and bucket, spray bottles, squeegees, concentrated cleaning products, paper towel… Buy commercial grade, buy it for life.
Good fuckin tip my person! Fire as fuck
As a corollary, look for restaurant supply places to get utensils and whatnot, it’s usually cheaper and you’ll get more durable stuff. A lot of them don’t require memberships either.
Business owners generally buy from business-supply places and not regular retail stores. So if a smaller business could conceivably want to buy something, there’s probably a business-supply place that sells it nearby. You may pay a bit more for durable things, but it’s often actually cheaper and they don’t cycle things out as quickly (businesses will inevitably need to buy more, and they want them to match).
