During my sobriety I’ve been taking something called suboxone. You could liken it to an opiate blocker, though it does have a degree of a sedative effect.
This becomes unnoticeable after a while.
2 months ago I decided to stop taking it, as it was no longer required.
And so it turns out the mild sedation was not so mild at all. I was emotionally numb to a degree that I had forgotten what either positive or negative really felt like.
It has been tough. I have no desire to return to my old life, I have no cravings. I’ve had a constant underlying headache from various parts of my body being incredibly tense since the beginning.
But coming back into the world full of feelings and a nervous system that’s been half asleep for a decade has been really, really hard. Everything feels so intense, both emotionally and physically.
I love it. But it’s hard work. I’m stuck in this “reconfiguration” stage and I think I’ve mindlessly said “man, today has been a hard day” every day for a few weeks now.
I’ve played the best music I’ve probably played in my life over the last 2 months. I feel like myself. I’m excited. But it’s a struggle. Were I not already somewhat used to dealing with stuff like this by myself, I think I would have run back to the medicine.
No one I know in real life knows about what’s happening. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Thanks for listening.
/vent
I feel like people don’t understand the impact medication has when it flattens everything out. Drugs may get rid of the lows, but they also shave off all the highs and that can take quite a toll on you
It’s a great achievement to even put that into words, well done!
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU MATE
I hope that soon you can be desensitised to all the reconfiguration stuff and that nasty constant headache fucks off
It’s an incredibly hard thing you’ve gone through.
We’re here for you man, always. you’re a kind soul and don’t forget that.
If you’ve through a lot but I’ve also had the fortitude to get through it.
You’re a good person and deserve everything that life has to offer.
Brains are amazing at recovering and reconfiguring. It will get easier. You’ve done so many hard things, and come through it. We are here for the vents any time you need it!
We are always listening, my dude. We’ve got your back!
So many hugs. You’re incredibly brave and strong, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. ( and good too. )
Thank you :)
I’m so proud of you friend, all you have survived, your willpower and perseverance is inspiring. You’re the kindest most thoughtful person I’ve the honour of knowing. Whatever happens I know you’re going to pull through and be that much more stronger for it!
I knoww. Plus he’s the best cat dad in the world .😭
That’s really kind of you :)
4th coat of paint on the 2nd bedside table finished and the brushes and stuff cleaned up
tomorrow it’s touch ups, finish lining the drawers, clean the mirror and then most of whole suite is done 😊
I’ll fix and paint the dressing chair when I come back from NZ
I am now having a much enjoyed hot milo
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.
I just passed my Learners . It’s been a while since I’ve driven so I thought I should take the tests and lessons again.
I got two wrong but it was just being overly cautious 😬
🍻
Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. 😄😘
Congratulations on both your successful passing of the test and your cautious attitude. I wish more people on the road were like you!
!Congrats 🥂
that is so me 🥺
OMG that’s SO exciting, Goons!!
Yay!!!
Yay!!! Go you!!! Congrats!!! 🍺
ee! well done!
Yay! Congrats!
Congratulations!!
Listened to a podcast called Scammerland about human trafficking in Myanmar. So terrible.
Just finished Expedition 33. I know I was coming to the end and I’m still… but why. Why.
I haven’t even started yet.
I cannot wait to follow along when you do! I want to know allllll of your thoughts and adventures!
😹 okay, I will take little videos and do a commentary, even if I have to learn how to do so. 😄
Omg can you pleeeease. I would love that!!
A wild ride wasn’t it?
I couldn’t put it down once I started.
I’m not ready to. I went into finale somehow hoping it wasn’t actually the finale and kept shouting NO NO NO NO NO NO
Who’s ending did you choose?
spoiler
Verso. But I’ll go back and play Maelle’s once I’ve stopped crying.
Same. My son just started playing, I gave him a hint on what to do when he gets there.
I hope your son loves it as much as so many of us!!
He’s avoided watching me, but knows enough.
So far he’s loving it.
Pretty lights
UFO?
Oooh I love that stand!
lights pretty
If your man ain’t treating you right
Come up and see ol’ Dan
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I’m a sixty-minute man, oh yeah
Sixty-minute manElder is a mad keen Fallout 4 fan. I love the Radio show on that game!
It’s a great game! I keep going back to play it again, and the radio is so good!! All the songs are so funny, or boppy, the innuendos! Old timey goodness!
Tomorrow for the Winter Solstice Games I have lots of wood, potatoes, marshmallows and chestnuts. What else do I need or need to do? Poetry? Spells? Chanting? Nudity?
Always here to support nudity and chanting. May the long night bring you peace and excitement for days to come (I don’t know if that’s an actual thing, it just feels cool to say)
Oh yes please it is finally solstice we were about to remove the Sun here
I will pray for you, bacon. 🙏
Thank you.
I think you’ve got most of it right. Grog is helpful as chestnuts can be a bit dry and floury. Not that this is a problem, just a glass or three of the old nasty helps the medicine go down.
Skyclad is strickly for summer imo. Also if doing skyclad, then watch out for impertinent echidnas. They’re a bit of a menace. I think they’re in league with the fundamentalist christians.
Lots of singing helps the sun return too. So bring out your favorite playlist and have at it!!Effigies of your enemies to toss into the fire? Arrange some stones into a henge?
Arrange some enemies into a henge!
I don’t have any enemies that I know of 😔
Chips?
Chips on a bonfire?
Oh didnt realise there was a bonfire. Oops!
No problem!
I forgot to post the results of dinner last night.
I may have put way too much chicken. The pot is overflowing with sauce and chicken and the bacon I added.
I was expecting the bacon to be salty but it didn’t really come out overpowering.
Also I think the Aldi sauce I used had a lot of garlic in it but it’s back to its tasty best.
Felt like the quality had dropped over the last couple of months.
Bedroom light shade is up
It was in lots of flat pieces of plastic that had to be bent and attached together so it took a while, but I’m pleased with the result. I just need to get to the assembly of the bedside tables and the bedroom will be done.
That’s really pretty 😄
Back from daily vitamin D exposure. The sun is glorious with light winds too, perfect winter’s day. Vibes are high for Friday arvo.
I had a fever dream that nuclear war happened in the middle east and the whole world economic order basically collapsed so I jumped in my car and drove north and moved in with a family member, earning keep by cooking and cleaning and making money by painting giant paintings of wolves.
As fever dreams go, it was ok
may I go political?
spoiler
That stupid FUCKING FUCK HEAD TRUMP ripping up the JCPOA
he has reverse diplomatic skills, his arrogant arseholeship insulted Iran, who while they might be cunts in regard to human rights and corruption, still have an impressive history and have autonomy that should be respected
100%. It’s the utter stupidity of it all.
You are welcome to ride dream-shotgun in my trip to a quiet future out bush painting and chilling with wolves.
I only found out about what’s happening from your post.
And to be honest, that works just fine for me.
Oh yeah sorry. I think I fell asleep listening to ABC Radio…
No need to apologise :) It just made me realise how much I’ve eased up on my old doom scrolling habit.
Have just been informed by a nurse friend that sinus rinses might cause false Covid negative tests from the nose. My body feel over test result might not have been in error. Ugh. Throat swabs in future I guess.
Or just give it an hour or two since your last rinse before you test
Cheers pilgrims 🍺
*This post was brought to you by the lovely afternoon sunshine
🍻🍻🍻
🍻 🍻 🍻
🍾 🥂
Cheers Spinny 🍺. 'Ave a good one.
🍬
🍺
Onya
🍺
Book review. Have just finished listening to the audio book The Wager. It’s a naval history book, not something I’d never normally select but it came strongly recommended. It is a WILD story. 1700s journey from Britain to South America. Shipwrecked, stranded, scurvy, starvation. Human behaviour and choices in the face of these extreme circumstances. And somehow a few barely alive survivors made it back after several years. Their story was a public sensation in its time. Early in the book I had to pause a few times to look up various naval terms, but was pretty easy listening otherwise. Very engaging.
