Roussev was spying on the US as Dr. Jan Itor for a while.

Nail gun lobotomy? Or maybe that was my band name in the 00’s. I don’t remember for some reason.

I’ll call it Windows 11.

If you fry it do you falafel?

That’s a mom that knows that they’re ALL much cuter when they’re alseep.

Stomp: “I’ll have a rum . . . . And coke.”

Bartender: “why the pause?”

Stomp: “Dunno, I’ve always had them.”

Congress and the judicial branch have fast tracked themselves on a course to redundancy for the past 85 days.

Raw irritated penis

I can tell when the batteries on my cordless mouse have died. There’s a strange feeling of resistance when the mouse is active, but when it’s dead, nothing.

I’ve been saying this for months. How long until 47 “has a stroke.”

Jesus is always on the job site by 730 with his tools and a smile on his face.

So a shitgun instead of a poostol.

Gimme a stoner any day. Better than trying to talk a roided up jock half way through a bottle of tequila out of punching his nana. I don’t consume myself because weed just puts me to sleep. I guess I’m mellow enough.

Remember when Idiocracy was a farce instead of a documentary?

Doppler effect.

With reddit eating X’s ass on the highway to insignificance.

I have revived multiple computers and my mom’s windshield wipers with concussive application of a rubber chicken.

I was just thinking earlier today that I miss Tim Walz. Walz 2028!

Diesel too?

I case you haven’t noticed, courts and law mean nothing to the incoming party. These states can come up with all of the lawsuits they want to, but it won’t do a bit of good.