One time I bought avocado dip and as I was bringing it inside it slid off all the other stuff it was on and the container cracked so I had to find another larger container to put it in so it wouldn’t go bad
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My wife and I both tested positive for COVID for the first (and so far only) time on September 11 of this last year, and have been referring to it as our personal 9/11.
9/11 happened when I was in an electronics store, so it was like 50 9/11s on all the TVs at once
comrade got to experience the 9/11 goon cave
That was one of al Qaeda’s headquarters
Oh god.
I’ve only ever seen like two videos of it happening so you didn’t get multi-cam views either
They were all desynced and hitting at different times too right?
5 years ago I got blue balls and had to walk a mile to pick up burritos when it was below freezing
Writhing in pain in the bathroom of some mexican restaurant is probably the lowest point of my life
I think I cut my thumbnail a little bit too short and now the end of my thumb hurts a little bit when I press on it a certain way
When Metallica killed Napster.
one time this cute girl asked me for my number because she thought my outfit was cute. she literally just thought my outfit was cute she was not a lesbian
That is weird. Did she just want to borrow your clothes? I’ve heard just becoming friends is a very lesbian thing to do so even stranger again
nope! they weren’t really her style, she just thought they were cute!
Ah, she wanted you to be one of her fashionable friends like she’s the main character in a TV show and the supporting cast is people with different aesthetics
Everytime I have diarrhea it’s like fifty 9/11s in one day.
The state I live in has had approximately 27 9/11’s worth of Covid casualties reported
When my cat pooped on my bedroom floor on the morning of 9/11
Your cat warned you and you didn’t tell anyone?
My own personal nine eleven was when i was eating a lunchable at school and it was short by one cheese and so the last snack stack ratio was completely off. It ruined my week and i haven’t been the same since.
You’ll be whole again one day. Healing is an ongoing process
Too bad, if you’d have caught it early enough you could have salvaged it with a cracker-meat-cheese-meat-cracker stack.
When Vibram’s Five-Finger shoes stopped getting stocked in stores. I love trail running and those shoes are also comfy as fuck. Now I gotta order them online and hope they’re the perfect fit.
Waiting at the bus stop at the train station, I find an old bottle of fruit juice in my school bag. As soon as I touched the lid it burst opened and drenched myself and some poor woman with vinegar-beer fermented juice.
I guess I was one of the hijackers
One time I decided to get spaghetti and sauce while I was food shopping but I forgot that I had taken my motorcycle to the store and bought too much stuff to fit comfortably under the cargo net on the back. So I tried to just ride reeeeal slow and easy to get it all home, and I made it all the way to the turn onto my home street, and that was when it all slipped out of the net and smashed into the road.
I went back on foot to survey the damage. One can of beans survived the fall, and one bottle of soda didn’t fall off at all. So that was my dinner that night.
I’ve had two similar experiences. Years ago I bought some 85% absinthe from my local bottle shop. I was riding home on my longboard and the bag had a hole in it. I heard a smash and there was $110 in the gutter.
Recently I went shopping with my kids in their trailer pram. I bought a bit too much stuff and had to sit my lunch on top of everything else in the back storage section. My lunch slipped out the back but it didn’t get too dirty so I rode home holding its paper bag myself
I one time made pancakes for the family and my fucking brother poured like a quarter of the maple syrup bottle on his and I didn’t get as much syrup as I normally like.
My condolences
You have been through more than any IDF soldier.
I just had another one.
I got in the shower and the shampoo bottle was empty. The shower was already going and I was already wet, so I couldn’t get out and get another bottle.
I’ll have to remember to put another one in before my next shower. In fact, I think I need to buy one first too
